Wartales: Life is like a hurricane, here in Gosenberg

I picked up Wartales on Steam a week or so ago and have thoroughly enjoyed it. At it’s heart it’s a turn-based isometric-grid team-battle, but considerably different from XCOM which didn’t invent the concept but did it really well and now these games are all called XCOMs.

Step 1, move into axe range.

You play a band of mercenaries. Mercenaries who can become bounty hunters or bandits or cannibals or political movers and shakers or merchant princes or friends or enemies or maybe all of these all at the same time. You start off with 4 or 5 dudes of different skill types and then you can add people you meet, people you capture or animals you buy/capture to your group. Once you understand that – that you can just keep adding dudes, unlike XCOM – and start rolling bandit bands with your twenty-strong merc gang… it becomes real fun. I currently have the 5 dudes I started with, 5 ponies to cart all our gear around, 7 or 8 more fighters that I hired/rescued, 5 wolves and 4 bears. Those little bands of robbers and deserters don’t stand a chance. But there’s a price.

It's not much but it is ours.

In fact, it’s the Human Resources/man management part that is the most fun for me. You have to keep your band paid (humans) and fed (humans and animals), the armour maintained and the gear up to date. Each character can have a profession too, so you keep them smithing the iron you find, or alchemying the weird substances you insist on walking away from fights with. You need to camp to recover fatigue and as you progress your camp tinkerer can build tents, cooking pots, workbenches… you go from a bunch of hobos squatting around a simple fire to a small traveling village. My current setup (above) has a beehive that produces honey that I then stick in my brewing equipment that makes mead that I give to my cook to make fancy Mead Pike with the fish my fisherman catches. I have stocks to keep prisoners. I have an impaling spike for former prisoners, I have a tent, so my spearwoman and axewoman can continue their sapphic courtship in peace. The mercs can love, like or take a real scunner to each other (archers are particularly prone to shooting their buds in the back and hearing about it for daaaaays afterwards).

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Today I learned there is a list of rogue Star Wars Galaxies servers, still serving

So that’s incredible. Apparently different communities have patched the base game and customized it with quality of life improvements, different races, and even new planets. Lucasarts shut the whole thing down in 2011 but even before then there existed these rogue servers, free to play.

The Verdict is In

Events at Shiro Yogasha were not done throwing twists at the young samurai quite yet.

Somewhat predictably the assassin they’d just kicked to a mangled heap into the inner courtyard of the castle had taken the precautionary measure of somehow having some poison ready to off himself and so shortly after Takuya and Koji stumbled wearily down the stairs/Tezuka jogged over from the hiding place/Agasha Sumiko flanked by a protective Sugi arrived at the body he became conscious enough to poison himself to death.

Sumiko removed the man’s mask, really just a cloth tied to cover his face, and while she gave no sign of being surprised or puzzled her trainee-yoriki all recognized the foaming green at the corners of his mouth. After giving curt orders for the body to be taken away , she left the scene, cool as a cucumber.

This allowed a chance to search the corpse (as delicately as they could) before the servants and untouchables arrived to dispose of it. Whipping out his investigatin’ chopsticks, Koji was able to pocket a sheaf of papers tucked into the man’s loose dark garb. He also had several bottles of the green liquid they suspected of killing chickens/Emerald Champions and a few shuriken left and his dropped katana. His hidden armor stayed on him as the body was carried away by the burakumin for disposal.

They make chopsticks for weirder shit than this.

Their big graduation day was only a night away, but who could sleep? Takuya took the sword to the library to investigate its origin. What he found was… surprising, but I don’t remember if he shared the information. They didn’t have time to follow up on the origin of the throwing stars, but that’s another thing that tends to have a geographic origin that can be determined by the design.

This image search just guaranteed the algorithm is going to spend the next six months trying to get me to by a fedora and trench coat.

Koji, meanwhile, went somewhere better lit to go read these papers that the assassin had been carrying. Turns out, they may have been the most dangerous thing about the man. The contents of the papers were an absolute bombshell.

The players had found evidence that Doji Satsume had kept correspondence from a heretical writer who (they suspect) was a member of the anti-Kami conspirators The Kolat. To have kept them and made notes on the long, blasphemous epistles was certainly conduct-unbecoming of arguably the second most important person in the Empire. But these new documents were even more shocking in their content as these were Satsume’s replies to some of those messages, as well as new letters from the mysterious author. And while some of the communication was clearly an ongoing argument there was outright agreement on some issues. Most shockingly Satsume denounced Imperial heir Hantei Sotorii as unsuited to the role the heavens had assigned him. Sotorii, he considered cruel and foolish, but his younger brother Daisetsu, didn’t get plaudits either. The underage Hantei spare was considered too weak to rule.

Uttered in any public place, this shit likely gets your head cut off forthwith. But for a man in Satsume’s position to set these heresies to paper – in conversation with an avowed enemy of the state is… wow. It’s big. Pee tape big. Up until now no-one had any cause to cover anything up to protect the Crane clan and Doji family, per Satsume’s ghostly request: no-one particularly though Hotaru had done her old man in, no matter how much she hated him. But this information is a substantial blot on the name of the Doji. Minor clans have been obliterated for rebellion in thought and deed. While the Doji are probably too important to merit that kind of censure, it would still be severe. And what the Doji wouldn’t do to keep that out of the sight of other clans…

Aaaaaaanyway, the next morning they had breakfast and then bathed and then took another hot bath and got dressed in their nicest ceremonial clothes (ceremonial armor if you are Sugi). They were sworn in in the Garden of Verdant Serenity along with a few other yoriki who had spent a great deal longer on their training. The various Masters were there, in their finery and Sumiko in her ceremonial Ruby armor. They received their jitte that marked them as Yoriki of an Emerald Magistrate and were introduced to their Emerald Magistrate, Asako Fumihito. (I think they met him then… maybe they met him later…)

Asako Fumihito is an older samurai and he is missing both feet and part of a shin (the bottom part… of course) so is moved around on a palanquin by two porters for the most part. An injury so severe would usually necessitate the samurai cutting off his topknot and retiring to a monastery to live out the rest of his days in contemplation. But apparently not Fumihito. He has work to do as an Emerald Magistrate, but it’s tough to picture him running around the country solving legal disputes.

The newly-minted yorikis discussed what they were going to tell Sumiko beforehand and then went to their meeting with her. Now that they were official, her report could state that the investigation was carried out by yoriki, and not just a bunch of kids not old enough to rent a car legally, who had been speed-dragged through months of training in three days.

The told her their findings, and although she gave them an opportunity to walk it back, they stuck with their story: the Emerald Champion had been poisoned by an assassin sent by the Kolat. They laid out their findings, with the exception of the blasphemous exchange of letters.

Sumiko was… disappointed. While she commended the many different things they found out in such a short period of time, especially the chicken killer’s hidden room, she didn’t seem thrilled at their conclusion. She thanked them for their time and wished them luck in future endeavors as yoriki under Asako Fumihito.

The next morning the castle was abuzz with the news that the Ruby Champion had completed her long awaited investigation into the death of Doji Satsume and had found that he died of (drumroll) Natural Causes. And that’s the end of that; anyone wishing to dispute this finding would need some serious political clout to do so, so as far as the historical record goes, he died the most unexciting way he possibly could.

Next up: Players get to chose whether or not to be despondent about their findings being officially ignored. They’ll have to get kitted out by their clan representatives who probably want to know how their homework is going. And then they’ll wait for Fumihito to give them something to do. So I’m sure that will give them lots of time for rest and relaxation.

There’s a section of the adventure called “Wait, it was all for nothing?” that explicitly deals with the heavy Samurai feels players may have regarding having the truth ignored. It is one of several ways the investigation can go. The Legend of Five Rings RPG: Because happy endings are for other games!

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